Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
