Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
