he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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