Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
