Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
