I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
