It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize