Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize