So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
