It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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