yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize