who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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