big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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