...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Nicole vs. Life
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize