Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
