How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
