I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
