I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
