I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
