Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
