im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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