You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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