Where is the hickey?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
No I am not eating basil off your cock
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
