Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
