I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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