Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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