There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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