Barsexuality is the new black.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
