you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
