Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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