i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
