Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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