Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
COCAINE IS GR8
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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