You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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