He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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