Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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