is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
