she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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