Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
