um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
