Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
