i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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