Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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