He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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