I think i peed on brittanys purse
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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