That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
