Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
