Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
