I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
