in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
