Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize