My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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