Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
