One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
