you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize