I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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