What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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