If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
