dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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