Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
