Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
