What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
