he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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