i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
