this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
