why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Randomize
