just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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