Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
