And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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