Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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