Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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