im gay
i know
yea but for you.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
