Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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