I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I deserve this hangover.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
